Friday 23 August 2013

OLD TOM'S BLOG - ANSWERS TO SARAH HOLLAND'S LIFE STORY QUIZ

                                               WISE OLD TOM KELLY'S BLOG




Everyone on the Isle of Man's talking about SARAH HOLLAND'S LIFE STORY QUIZ and I reckon I've figured out all the answers.  

So here they are.

IN MY OPINION - this is SARAH HOLLAND



You can find her on Wikipedia at: - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sarah_Holland

The person who earned the $1.25 billion is her mother, Sheila Holland aka international best selling novelist Charlotte Lamb.


You can find her on Wikipedia too under her maiden name at: - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sheila_Coates

She wrote about 300 books or something and was Queen of Mills and Boon/Harlequin Romance for 30 years.   All her books sold over 1 million copies each and her global sales exceed 500 million; when her e-catalogue is released in full she may become the world's first billion selling author.

THE GLOBAL COMPANY is HARLEQUIN, in my opinion - the world's biggest publishers of romance novels




Harlequin Books are owned by Torstar, the Canadian equivalent of Murdoch's News International and their chairman is - in my opinion - "The Head Honcho in the silly bow tie."   His name is John  Honderich and here he is looking a complete plonker: -



The LITERARY AGENT is LUIGI BONOMI, in my opinion, who was Charlotte Lamb's Editor at Mills & Boon, Harlequin and Penguin Books.   And here he is looking like an FBI mug-shot.


He then became a literary agent in the 90s according to his BlogSpot, and now runs his own firm Luigi Bonomi Associates or LBA (above).   He represents lots of TV stars like Richard and Judy, who always look gorgeous - don'tcha love 'em?


Now, I had to really work hard to get this one but it was irresistible.   The only woman at HARLEQUIN LONDON I can figure was maybe blackmailing him in the 90s was this woman, KARIN STOECKER.   My sources tell me she was definitely Editorial Director of Mills and Boon/Harlequin in the 90s and that she had some weird dealings with old Luigi.

They say she turned Mills and Boon into such a horrible place to work that everyone in publishing started calling it THE CONCENTRATION CAMP and Karin Stoecker's secret nickname in publishing circles was THE CAMP COMMANDANT or THE NAZI.




And you can just see her in the uniform, can't you?

But there is where I get a bit lost for a moment.   No idea who the "national magazine empire" are, and there's not enough information on THE FEMALE WRITER so can't guess her either.  I haven't the foggiest what 366 is or who they are or what they have to do with anything.   Anyone got any ideas?  Answers appreciated, put them on this post or drop by and see me at the pub.

But I've done my research on the next bit and I reckon THE LAWYER has to be - in my opinion - PROFESSOR DAVID W. ROBERTSON of the University of Texas at Austin.

  This is him, I reckon: -



He does seem to have done things for THE UNITED STATES SUPREME COURT. 

Now, I could be wrong, but I've done my research with the internet family stuff and I think his relative in publishing is EVAN SMITH, once Editor of Texas Monthly now Editor of THE TEXAS TRIBUNE, this is him, bit of an oily tic if you ask me;



No idea who the friend in Texas is but the violent alcoholic mother has gotta be a Southern lady called ANN T ROBERTSON who used to work for the Texas Government back in the day; fond of whisky and talks like Blanche du Bois, lol!

Anyway - it's a juicy scandal and to think CHARLOTTE LAMB died right here on the Isle of Man at one of our favourite beauty spots in the parish of Santon.   You can drive past it and thank your lucky stars your mum didn't write for Harlequin, lol, or you'd have spent 10 years running from murderers like that poor girl Sarah Holland.   Great barmaid she was; used to serve me a lovely pint of mild up at THE QUEEN'S, LAXEY back in the 2004s.   She was living in an upstairs room at the pub then with not two pennies to rub together and holes in her jeans.   Laxey bus drivers were letting her on for free, poor love.   Anyway, this is where she used to live on the Old Castletown Road, here it is: -
 
So here's to the ISLE OF MAN and all her stories of mystery, murder and intrigue!
 
More soon...Tom x

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